As immensely difficult personally as it was for Trump to swallow the implied jeers about his small inaugural crowd size, delivered by the Media he so despises (compared to that Kenyan Muslim guy no less), which downed his inaugural emotional high on Friday. Trump seemed to have simmered down somewhat by Monday evening.
But, no. He just had to dig at it and scratch some more. Always with the last word. No one will ever challenge Trump’s naked authority and pride and get away with it, especially those losers and haters, the dishonest press.
So, today Trump waited until the decent work hour of 8:58 AM Eastern Time to thumb his nose at one and all and display his red ass to the nasty press by declaring that a beautiful panoramic photo of the massive inaugural crowds just passed would henceforth be hung in the upper/lower press areas in the White House. Busy, busy Trump just had enough time to zip off this tour de force as he was entering a serious 9 AM meeting with auto executives. But he made do.
Most cleverly, there was no extra jab or near immediate twit follow-up. Nor, as of 7 PM Eastern time this evening, has any further commentary been erupted on the Twitstream. So, Trump perhaps hoped to be able to cast this photo reminder as just a normal decoration decision (you know, hanging paintings on the wall of the new residence in the guest bedrooms) and not some threat or stupid payback ploy at journalists for giving Trump the mighty red ass over his precious crowd domination fantasies.
Well, this is the Bigs, not the Double-A farm team minors. There are no longer just 16 rival candidates Trump wants to beat up on. There are brigades of very smart people that Trump insists on repeatedly insulting and demeaning, for trying to do their jobs. Those folks have more time and money in toto than Trump does, to set things right if they decide they should, when Trump persists in his grudges. Trump doesn’t snap control the publicity agenda, no matter how hard he works at it.
Trump and his team have also gotten a bit sloppy, they are overtired, they have misread the animosity Trump has stirred up in 18 months, or maybe they are just not as goldarn smart as they think they are. Whatever.
The first issue on the plate from this morning’s gambit is the rookie dumbass error of not noticing that the photograph pastiche posted to the public has a caption with the wrong date inscribed; January 21 versus the alternative fact version date of January 20. That’s probably not a good line for Team Trump to stand and hold.
Next is the issue of upper/lower press hall in the Twit. It turns out there are both separate upper and lower press areas in the White House. Does Trump mean to hang the same very beautiful but wrongly captioned photo in birth locations at once? A sort of visual punishment in stereo for the Press? Will just the one print be hung, with the Press Hall active shaming location alternating, say on a weekly basis for variety?
Regardless of these niggles, I would expect that after Trump has a choleric fit at the dummkopf who screwed this one up, the photo will be recalled for an emergency restoration and cleaning, while a replacement corrected print is ordered up, if the photo isn’t instead permanently deep sixed. Although in the end. something of the hanging art sort is now required to substitute, rather quickly and publically to save face for the Meister.
For the seemingly hapless Sean Spicer this makes two major doo-doos in only 72 hours, That man’s keister may be half-way out the door. If reports about internal senior White House staff tensions are correct, lovely Kellyanne might just help that process with a shove by whispering a word in Dear Leader’s right ear. Considering the demonstrated optical sensitivity of Trump’s gut, a Spicer exit would probably be slightly delayed until some sort of a health crisis or family time commitment can be engineered.
It isn’t that Trump is particularly shy at pulling the personnel trigger, but that his personal prestige is now entangled since Trump is the one who directly told Spicer to go out and blow the fairy dust about huge crowds last Saturday, when Trump objected in his heart to like the tone and trend of the media coverage from Friday, not to mention the outrageous over indulgence by the Press in endlessly reporting about those silly women wearing pick hats and running around by the hundreds of thousands all over the country the same day. Talk about stepping on the Boss Man’s game. I mean, really.
All this comes on top of Trump’s extraordinary outburst during what was supposed to be a peace offering of sorts at CIA Headquarters on Saturday. The event took place in the most honored spot in the entire CIA complex, directly in front of the Memorial Wall with 117 stars; one for each of the CIA officers who have lost their loves while on active duty serving their country since 1947. After a dull-witted joke about Deputy Director Meroe Park’s period of CIA government service, Trump made a few brief remarks about his none-better admiration and support for the agency, and then Trump’s inner cork popped. And he went off on the media, liars, and huge crowd sizes.
And the reason you’re my first stop is that, as you know, I have a running war with the media. They are among the most dishonest human beings on Earth. And they sort of made it sound like I had a feud with the intelligence community. And I just want to let you know, the reason you’re the number-one stop is exactly the opposite — exactly. And they understand that, too.
And I was explaining about the numbers. We did a thing yesterday at the speech. Did everybody like the speech? I’ve been given good reviews. But we had a massive field of people. You saw them. Packed. I get up this morning, I turn on one of the networks, and they show an empty field. I say, wait a minute, I made a speech. I looked out, the field was — it looked like a million, million and a half people. They showed a field where there were practically nobody standing there. And they said, Donald Trump did not draw well. I said, it was almost raining, the rain should have scared them away, but God looked down and he said, we’re not going to let it rain on your speech.
In fact, when I first started, I said, oh, no. The first line, I got hit by a couple of drops. And I said, oh, this is too bad, but we’ll go right through it. But the truth is that it stopped immediately. It was amazing. And then it became really sunny. And then I walked off and it poured right after I left. It poured. But, you know, we have something that’s amazing because we had — it looked — honestly, it looked like a million and a half people. Whatever it was, it was. But it went all the way back to the Washington Monument. And I turn on — and by mistake I get this network, and it showed an empty field. And it said we drew 250,000 people. Now, that’s not bad, but it’s a lie. We had 250,000 people literally around — you know, in the little bowl that we constructed. That was 250,000 people. The rest of the 20-block area, all the way back to the Washington Monument, was packed. So we caught them, and we caught them in a beauty. And I think they’re going to pay a big price.
So, a brand new, inexperienced, and wholly untested President, with a recent turbulent history of pre-relations with our nation’s entire intelligence community, and more particularly the CIA, comes to make a sort of peace and reassurance visit with the troops, and promptly lashes out at the press over what is quite literally a trivial non-issue, entirely unrelated to national security and America’s safety.
Now, I realize Trump was speaking at the world’s premier Puzzle Palace to the folks who are magnificent practitioners of misinformation, disinformation and false flagging on foreign soil, but this was not the time or the place for the President to run a training simulation exercise against the America people with his crowd nonsense, in order to gain some experience at the source.
Especially, only a step in front of the Memorial Wall which is the spiritual and functional equivalent for the CIA that the Tomb of the Unknowns represents for our Military. Imagine the shock and horror, if Trump were to use his Memorial Day Wreath laying ceremony to offer a few appropriate remarks (a new Presidential innovation—and a great camera background—despite the tradition of respectful silence at Arlington) and two minutes into his historic and inspirational remarks derides Little Marco for questioning the President’s manliness in debates last year. Trump had already made abundantly clear that he has as much military training as any soldier based on his parade time in military school and Trump knows no self-respecting soldier or Commander-in-Chief will stand still and have his or her honor impugned. Little Marco, who just couldn’t get it done. So, there you are.
Trump the clueless on Saturday, abusing the setting and the occasion to indulge a pet furuncle, which is both unimportant to the country, and self-inflicted to boot. Disrespecting a sacred place of honor for petty personal gain. Disgusting.
Ah well. Trump will be Trump as all Trump’s women, Kellyanne, Ivanka, and Melania, have told us many times before. At age 70, Trump will not be deterred, deflected, or governed, even if good sense demands discretion.
And what does Trump want to accomplish in this crowd size scuffle? It should be rather plain by now that fundamentally this is not, and never has been, about crowd size. At the core level, Trump is insisting on a male equipment measuring contest. He demands it. He wants it badly, he is burning for it, he can’t wait to get it on, he needs it like oxygen, and Trump will have it out, one way or the other.
The other fundamental point is that this whole deal has never really been about Hillary, either. For Trump, Hillary was never his true opponent, the thing that went bump in the night, his bête noire.
If you have been paying attention to American politics for the last several years, that was and has always been, one Barack H. Obama, since at least 2010. Inside, Trump has always seethed that he lacked the courage himself to go straight at Obama in 2012. Trump has mocked Romney and called him a loser, but not because Obama did in fact beat Romney then, but rather because Trump believes in his soul that he could have entered the Republican race, won the nomination, and then swept Obama from office, in a rout, one on one, man to man.
And now he will never get the chance back in pristine form. It will always be second best.
Not only would Trump have proven his manly mettle in 2012, but he would have become President at the sprightly younger age of 66, in better health and even greater manly vigor. And now at 70, Trump would be serving his second term and already planning to resume his command of the entire Trumpville business empire, and with the best possible rocket powered blast-off for financial stardom that has ever been imagined. At last, a chance to best that coterie of ass pains like Gates, and Bloomberg, and Bezos, and young Zuckerberg, financially as well as historically. A fitting tribute to Trump’s extraordinary, world class, deal making genius, better even than the number one rated TV show in his past.
Money, chicks, and power for the rest of his days—what a heady intoxicating combination. Do whatever you want, forever.
Rules of the Challenge Game
O.K. Trump gets his fondest, deepest wish, right here, right now. Lord, may it be the last (or nearly the last) time.
So, the contestants are Donald Trump and Barack Obama. Who has the best equipment validated by the largest crowd size in the presidential arena? We will make the comparisons completely fair for both competitors. First term inauguration fever (befitting agents of hope and change), each victorious after 8 dismal years of opposition party government power. So, the contest pits Trump (2017) versus Obama (2009).
For this match, we will use the same measuring stick ruler to document the results, in a standardized clinical political environment. Measurements will made along the same background ground (U.S. Capitol stretching all they way to the Washington Monument), at the same time of day (12 noon ± 30 minutes), on the same day of the year (January 20), in the same U.S. city (District of Columbia). The only differences are the year of contest (2017 vs 2009) and the actual crowd sizes of interest.
We have then established competing circumstances as close to a randomized controlled political clinical trial as it is possible to arrange. This is the very same gold standard method used to approve life saving medicines in the United States by our F.D.A. And to hear Trump tell it, the U.S. is very sick and needs his life giving political medicine right now, in a huge hurry, P.D.Q.
Our critical baseline photographs are standard view overhead shots, marked by experts with crowd density and extent mappings to a complete to scale diagram plan, along the entire 1.8 mile linear extent of the National Mall, from the West Front of the Capitol to the Washington Monument.
And the Nominees Are
New York Times graphic: Trump vs. Obama Crowd Size Comparison (January 20, 2017)
The two matched standard ruled photo-diagrams derived from the New York Times preliminary data investigation are given below. The base measurement of the crowd swelling begins at the extreme right hand side by the bulbous Capitol formation. The path runs straight and true along the National Mall to the West eventually to reach the Washington Monument 1.8 miles distant (a long, long way). For ease of comparison, the identical ruling measurement device is employed for both parties; a standard 12-inch long ruler, familiar to all American school children and adults, but inverted to run right to left, to ease reading of the measures. The rulers are exactly to scale with each other. No optical tricks, changes of perspective due to distorted panorama photo editing, or alternative facts allowed in this contest report.
Straight up, as nature intended, no excuses, no technological aids or enhancements applied. Clean and honest.
A packed house for any Presidential inauguration crowd along this 2 mile course would register at a bit more than 12 full inches, on this massive scale ruler.
Ready to Rumble, Crowd-wise?
May I Have the Winning Envelope, Please?
As a courtesy to our new one and only sitting President, he should come first in order of protocol precedence, and so it shall be.
Trump’s Inaugural Crowd Measurement:
Allowing for a little loose fitting at the base, a courtesy among all gentlemen of good faith and manners (here about 0.6”), Trump’s final 2017 crowd estimate turns in a perfectly respectable, if not outstanding, score of 5.7 Inches. According to standard medical, er, political textbooks, this crowd length is a shade better than the American male Presidential average, over the past 25 years.
If you want to stretch Trump’s crowd length to its extreme maximum, you would get a final measurement of 6.4 inches. Even better, though still not an earth shaker.
Obama’s Inaugural Crowd Measurement:
How does Trump’s Bête Noire opponent, one Barack Obama perform in his own right?
We apply the same identical analytical criteria as before. No fudging, coddling, or unfair advantage. Allowing for the same loose fitting at the Capitol base (0,6”), Obama’s final crowd measurement rings up a truly impressive score of 11.4 inches. This is well outside the normal average crowd size range. It is indeed the absolute very best score posited in political America in the last 25 years.
Again, if we were to stretch out Obama crowd length to the extreme maximum documented in the diagram above, that measurement makes a full 12.5 inches. It’s hard to know exactly what superlatives to add to describe that crowd performance endowment.
What to Make of the Presidential Crowd Size Contest (T-45 vs O-44)
Really there just isn’t all that much to add. Using a school-house ruler, even a relatively slow witted 4th grader gets the full picture at a glance, without hesitation.
If a supposedly responsible adult were to enter the classroom, and begin to argue that there was a substantial question about who the winner is, or imply that there might be a trick perspective in play affecting the blazingly clear results, all the kids would burst out laughing, and say “quit pulling my leg, man! It’s obvious.”
Will this documented demonstration deter the Alternate Facts factory at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, from continuing to fuss and twirl in the wind, and try to deny the truth? Based on recent history, probably not. But we can hope.
Really, the best advice one could offer to those embattled folks, is that a player needs to know when the jig is up. Or as Kenny Rogers, The Gambler (1978) might best advise ,“You’ve got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em,
Listen to Brother Rogers Sing the Truth and Testify.
Or, loosely adapted from the Sinatra musical classic, beloved by all, including Trump.45, as we well know after last Friday. First Song, First Dance, First Lady.
‘The time has come. The end (of this contest) is near.’
As of right now, Trump is fighting all comers from way deep under water on this deal. Trump.45 needs to go and do it his way on some other problems, where all Americans need his help and his entire mental focus.
It will do no good for anyone to continue obsessing over spilt milk, lost chances, and the endless water gone over the dam.
Besides, looking on the potentially brighter side of things, Obama set another record crowd standard in 2013. That was the second biggest live crowd in inaugural history. If Trump plays his policy action cards just right for four years, he could possibly get a rematch, a second chance For a win.
It wouldn’t alter the established outcome for first term inaugurals here, but it would still be a legitimate chance for Trump’s shot at final redemption, and a sweet victory on a future battlefield, in recognition for services actually rendered to the citizens of a grateful American Nation. Instead of this “All Hat No Cattle” bombast rattle we have been subjected to since Friday. Trump could then possibly leave the field a Crowd Size Champ in 2020, and establish a durable, original, factually based record for himself and his posterity.
The nation’s true priorities awaits urgent attention.
The 2017 All-Star Male Enhancement Political Crowd Contest is concluded. We have a clear winner. By K.O.
Good luck next time, Mr. Trump.45.