Trump’s Timecard #2: The Weekends of Trump on America’s Dime (February 16, 2017)

Americans are intensely interested in the movings and shakings of the man who can do it all, and who will never forget the formerly forgotten. Trump will not rest, and will not take a vacation until Americans are winning so much they are sick of winning.* He said it on tape, so you can take it to the bank.

Trump’s Weekend Diary (2017)

Weekend 01: January 21-22             Settling In

Weekend 02: January 28-29           Working from White House

Weekend 03: February 04-05        Golf Vacation, 2 Parties

Weekend 04: February 11-12          Golf Vacation, Foreign Visitor Entertaining

Weekend 05: February 18-19        Mar-a-Lago, Golf Vacation?, Alone (Me) Time?

What I Did on the Weekend by Trump.45

Weekend 01: Stayed in New White House Digs

•  Danced My Way With Wife (Friday night
• Lobbied for Votes at CIA Memorial Wall
• Damned Ungrateful Women Marching Around Everywhere

Weekend 02: Stayed At Home Bachelor Style

• Bunch of Phone Calls on my New Phone
• Watched TV over Immigration Order Fallout Nonsense-Ruined Dinner

Weekend 03: Off to Florida (Mar-a-Lago) on Vacation

• Wife Came Along
• Couple More World Leader Type Calls
• Got in a Round of Golf at Trump National West Palm
• Fancy Dress Ball at Trump National (Red Cross)
• Super Bowl Party Trump National -Went Home Early Boring Game

Weekend 04: Off to Florida Again

• Wife Came Along
• Put up Japanese Guests: My Treat
•  Got in a Round of Golf Trump Jupiter Club

Weekend 05: Off to Florida Again (3 Weeks Running)

• My Drivers and Putters Are Calling Me
• Wonderful; Extra ½ Day by Ducking Out to SC Visit Friday
• Feel the Love Campaign Style Saturday Rally

So, this being President stuff is still not all that it’s cracked up to be. There are too many impertinent and downright nasty questions, with losers dogging my every move. I don’t get my proper respect and deference. This week it’s not those so-called judges. This time around the New York Times and the Washington Post are both birddogging my ass, and it’s really getting me pissed off.

I badly want to squash these vermin-like bugs, but my so-called lawyers keep telling me I can’t just nuke ‘em with some kind of National Security Pre-Publication Protective Order. I don’t get it. I’m the President and I really, really want to do exactly that. Back at Trump Tower I have enough pre-nups and tightly bound non-disclosure agreements to gut and spit roast anybody who even looks at me cross-eyed.

I’m supposed to be the Most Powerful Man in the World (even bigger than Putin), and I can’t even slow these bloodsuckers down. I bet Putin doesn’t have these sorts of problems. Even that pint-sized runt in North Korea neutralized his half-brother this week in a third country airport without a hitch.

Russian Thistle in Bloom: Deceptively Pretty Weed

Well, I’m working on it. Ahead of the coming Blissful Weekend I blasted out some Jovian style Thunder. Those whistleblowers better take cover because the Manhunt is on. I know some losers might say that Trump called for illegal hacking by the Russians during the election campaign, but that was very different. The object then was Hillary and all’s fair against that she-devil, who never should have been allowed to run in the first place. More importantly, now my personal ox is being gored, and I won’t have it, I tell you. I just won’t. I swear I’m gonna drop a bomb on somebody if this travesty isn’t permanently fixed and right quick too.

Now the lying, failing Press has hounded me so unfairly and unmercifully this week I had to cave in to them and let poor Mike Flynn go, even though he did absolutely nothing wrong at all, and he’s my boy. I couldn’t save him though he is a very fine fellow. At least those Lemmings on the Hill (Republicans in both chambers) are playing ball with me on this, stalling and riding out the clock on any potential investigations Flynn-wise. Anybody breaks ranks, they better watch out for their own selves.

Ivanka Eyeballs Justin At White House  021317 ver. 01

I had a pretty good meeting with Bibi yesterday, my favorite Middle Eastern buddy, and even Melania showed up for basic ceremonial First Lady Duties.

The Trumps and Netanyahus Enter the White House Together on Wednesday 021517

She looked fine as usual, and I didn’t detect any of those so-called frowns or grimaces the Internet has been talking about and trying to get me all riled up about. When will they ever learn, Trump never gets riled people. I don’t know yet if Melania will come along to Florida, but who knows?

Ivanka Eyeballs Justin At White House  021317 ver. 02

One thing I will say is I didn’t much care for the social media swoon over that Trudeau Canadian Guy. A bunch of women seem to have gotten all hot and bothered over this young fellow. He’s married, you know.

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau With His Wife, Sophie Gregoire, in Canada Celebrating His Political Victory

Those nasty women out there need to keep their lascivious looks and worse thoughts buttoned up and out of their facial expressions. So I can tell you I especially didn’t like all those snarky, innuendo filled and double entendre comments and pictures of my golden daughter Ivanka staring at that guy with an expression that dirty minds completely misinterpreted and commented on way too much.

Ivanka Eyeballs Justin At White House  021317 ver. 03

Ladies, your love connection radar is malfunctioning, to say the least. Ivanka is married, and so am I. Marital trust is hugely important to me on behalf of all the female members of the Trump family. And don’t you ever forget it. Or I’ll have the FBI and NSA put you on the list just like the low-life Whistleblowers, who better be quaking in their socks and boots already.

Ivanka Eyeballs Justin At White House  021317 ver. 04

I am a bit disappointed in the Puzder guy quitting and walking away from the Dream Job I conferred on him. I thought he had bigger stones that that. Just because some low-wage workers kicked up a fuss, and there was some illegal immigration hiring trash talk, and some woman maybe making up domestic violence nonsense on an old Oprah show, Puzder still should have stood tall and defied the losers and haters. That’s the way I roll, and look where I am now. I guess that’s one of the critical differences between billionaires and mid level millionaires. We billionaires have a code and an obligation to serve the public as Men in Charge.

Finally, in the week’s news so far, I can definitively declare, reaffirm, and announce that Kellyanne Loves Sean and vice-versa, Reince and Stevie Boy Primo are Lifetime Best Buddies and completely livid at any Alternative Explanations somebody might offer, even Breitbart, and Jared loves everybody. Miller, Stevie Boy #2, I just keep in a corner with some water and chow, and he shows up growling when called upon. Never has there been a more tight knit and loving group of core staff. Innocent Mike will be missed a bunch, at least until some time next week.

An Idyllic Shot of Trump’s Favorite Place in Florida (and He Owns It): Mar-a-Lago

Now, can I please get back to more pleasant thongs? A glorious round or two of prime, sunny Florida golf at one or more of my own favorite clubs. A rally spent basking in the love and praise of at least 40 to 50 thousand of my bestest admirers ever at the Melbourne FL Airport hanger. And don’t even try and low-ball the crowd attendance figures this time. More hats, T-shirts and beer cozies will be sold. We can bond over some Oldies but Goodies War Chants {Build The Wall, Lock Her Up, Keep Muslims Out, Repeal and Replace, Bring Jobs Back, MAGA). Sweet music for my frazzled soul.

Trump.45 Ready to Resume Campaign Rally Style in Favorite White Hat on Saturday in Melbourne FL

You know when I run again in 2020, no Republican in his (or her) right mind will compete with me, and this way I also get off to an early Campaign Poll lead over any stinking Democrats thinking about tossing their moldy hats into the ring. It’s great to be the King (of social media, Bully Pulpits, and Presidential Memorabilia Sales right now, as an appetizer for grander things to come).

Now, get out of my way, I need to pack my special duds for some Florida golf. The very best kind.

Map Showing Location of Trump Golf Properties in Florida

Slight Editorial Comment

It is true that this is Trump’s Presidential Weekend number 5, but in actuality it is just the end of his 4^th week in office. Trump has rapidly established the all time new Presidential record for goofing off. In office 4 weeks he is taking his third vacation (in Florida no less). So the new Record (Donald J Trump, American record holder) is now 75% vacation time on weekends after one month in the saddle.

Trump Aiming for Presidential Vacation Record Pace After 30 Days in Office

Notify Guinness World Records. They deserve a shot to observe political history in the making. This feat makes George W. Bush looks like a seriously dull workaholic. And the Ranch at Crawford pit stop look like an abandoned 19^th century boom town main street, with Russian thistle rolling along the dusty empty center of the bustling Presidential sweet spot that once was.

Russian Thistle Debris Blowing Against Fence Line in U.S.

Every Mar-a-Lago visit rings the cash register of the Trump Empire with serious coin for rental fees, food costs, and various facilities charges that the US Government (GSA) needs to cough up. They go right to Trump’s bottom line and in his personal pocketbook (now in Trust for later collection). Everyone is so worn out from all the other shenanigans Trump is pulling, it’s hard to get a rise out of the remaining exhausted citizen watchdogs. The low-information Trump’s Army Twit followers don’t care.

The Trumpster looks ready to score some coin, feel the love, indulge the golf thing, and get some quality manly alone pamper time for himself in less than 48 hours. Now that’s a schedule Americans can believe in and celebrate from their less moneyed observation distances.

Let’s keep our Dear Leader Happy, well-fed, and well rested this weekend, at all costs. Call the Times and ask them to back off, and threaten that you won’t buy their paper anymore when you visit New York if they keep up the Trump harassment.

Maybe the über efficient domestic staff at Mar-a-Lago can cagily keep the papers away from Trump’s line of sight for a couple days.

America, are you sick of winning yet?

Selected Sources:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/02/16/us/politics/campaign-over-president-trump-will-hold-a-what-else-campaign-rally.html?action=click&contentCollection=us&module=NextInCollection&region=Footer&pgtype=article&version=newsevent&rref=collection%2Fnews-event%2Fdonald-trump-white-house

http://www.politico.com/story/2017/02/trump-rally-melbourne-florida-235061

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*Another vacation pledge. A shorty in stereo blast from the past.

In Trump.45’s own words:

In June 2015, when Trump first launched his campaign, he said that if he won the presidency, he would not take any vacations.

“I would rarely leave the White House because there’s so much work to be done,” Trump told The Hill. “I would not be a president who took vacations. I would not be a president that takes time off.”

Trump had reportedly considered the idea of spending every weekend away from the White House. The New York Times reported in November [2016] that Trump was “talking with his advisers about how many nights a week he will spend in the White House” and that he told them he “would like to do what he is used to, which is spending time in New York when he can.”

Trump’s actual 1 month vacation record? 3 out of 4 weekends away on vacation in Florida. Same plan, different luxury destination. There is no golf at Trump Tower.

For comparison’s sake, Obama took 28 vacations away from the White House in 8 years. That is 3.5 per year, or approximately 1 vacation every 3½ months. Trump is roughly on pace to eclipse Obama’s vacation spree by a factor of almost exactly 10 to 1. Now that’s showing some serious regard for the Nation’s pocketbook and attention to its serious business by the Trumpster.

Don’t you agree, non-millionaire DWA citizens, whom he has not forgotten and never will forget?

After 1 month? Seriously?