Dateline: Boston, Massachusetts, April 13, 2016
Researchers have announced pre-publication results from a study of a new medical condition discovered over the last year.
A collaborative group of scientists and medical experts from three elite research institutions in Boston, New York, and Baltimore held a joint press conference today to describe preliminary results of their study soon to be published in a prestigious journal.
The researchers reported they began seeing patients starting in the summer of 2015 with a particular combination of physical complaints and symptoms apparently related to extensive media coverage of Donald Trump and his presidential campaign. Surprised at these anecdotal reports, they designed a screening survey technique to better define the new condition.
By September last year, they had enough data to begin a formal protocol-based scientific study of this syndrome in some 350 people (in Massachusetts, New York, and Maryland) pre-screened for its effects. The researchers used a variety of clinical and research methods to investigate study participants. These included laboratory blood tests, x-rays, physical examinations, functional MRI testing, auditory evoked potential measurements, and PET scans,* as well as detailed symptom diaries, media consumption tracking, and home health visits by trained study coordinators. The preliminary study lasted for 6 months.
The authors have written a first draft technical paper presenting a detailed analysis of the findings to date, and submitted it for publication to a prestigious scientific journal. They are confident it will appear soon due to its topical importance.
Researchers were able to fund expenses for the first 350 study participants by rearranging their existing internal research funds from other grants. They intend to apply for expedited cash grants from renowned foundations and charitable groups, including the Trump Foundation, to expand their research to 1,000 subjects by July of this year. The team hopes to expand their reach to study a nationwide sample of approximately 5,000 by this fall, in time for the presidential election.
Researchers have provided an overview of their medical and scientific results. On average, subjects are exposed to 1.75 hours per day of Trump related internet and media coverage, an extraordinary amount for per person exposure. This includes social media, TV viewing, cable, radio, print, YouTube, advertising, and internet sources.
Subjects report a statistically increased rate (p<0.05) of nervousness and irritability symptoms on standardized questionnaires, and modest changes in measured IQ. The researchers have found some unexpected alterations in two blood tests for kidney function, as well as an increase in LDL cholesterol. There was a consistent small increase in diastolic blood pressure of 3-4 points over baseline.
X-rays and PET scans revealed no significant abnormalities. Brain auditory evoked responses (BAER) testing showed an unusual pattern of interference with auditory processing times, not reported before.
On physical examination the most striking finding was a 13.6% persistent shortening of digital length n both fingers and toes, particularly in the 1st and 3rd digits of the right hand. Whether this pattern is related to the 85% proportion of right-handed individuals in the general population, or is otherwise age or gender dependent has not been determined so far. Some of the researchers have taken to calling this phenomena the ‘stubby fingers’ effect. It has not previously been described in human studies as an acquired trait after so short a duration (6 months of study). Whether the digit shrinkage is temporary or permanent is not known.
Another striking finding is that there is a dose-related trend of subjects suffering from what scientists call MSG (monosyllabic gobbledygook) with increasing media exposure time.** The study team has invented a computerized algorithm to measure this trait from a single 30-second sound recording of spontaneous speech from a study subject. The measurement index is highly reproducible and represents a significant methodological advance for the scientific team members.
The team also reports a 42% incidence of increased or new-onset migraine headaches, which occur with an average frequency of 2.6 episodes per week, lasting 40 minutes to 3.5 hours each. Standard headache medications, silence, and rest in a darkened space seem to be effective treatments. Subjects report some instances of visual or auditory auras, and occasional constitutional symptoms like dizziness and nausea. The researchers are trying to decide if this is a new type of headache, or an intensification of a pre-existing condition.
The researchers are taking the unusual step of releasing detailed preliminary findings from their study prior to publication for two reasons. They believe the results are potentially quite significant, and of general interest. Secondly, there has been some difficulty with the peer review process leading to publication. Researchers told us that certain scientific rivals have poisoned the peer reviewer pool, and are trying to unfairly influence the study reviews in order to stall or delay publication, while the rivals scramble to complete and publish their own similar research findings.
The researchers want to let the peer review process play out normally, but they are serving public notice that they intend to monitor progress carefully, and are fully prepared to institute legal proceeding to protect their intellectual property against interlopers.
The research team also advises that they have decided to name this new medical syndrome the Trump Over Exposure Syndrome (TOES),*** and are preparing to file a U.S. trademark claim to ensure their priority claim to the syndrome name, and the research methods used to make a diagnosis.
The scientists promise further analyses and details of the research results in the near future, as well as regular updates on the expected study publication date and the progress of their expanded scientific studies in the weeks to come. They are very excited. The lead researcher was heard to remark that this new blending of medical science, cognitive psychology, and social sciences methods would be huge. The Trump syndrome research team expects to remain the unquestioned leaders in the entire field.
The authors intend to establish an on-line website shortly to enhance dissemination of study results and related matters. A research communications coordinator is slated to be hired in the next two weeks.
To encourage other professionals to engage in similar bold research, the researchers also announced today that they would make public their complete study protocol, which is more than 90 pages long. They hope this detailed presentation of research methods and procedures will help guide high quality follow-up studies in the field, and permit proper verification of their results, according to the Scientific Method of hypothesis and falsification.
[Notice to Low Information Readers. The study results described above are preliminary, and have not yet been published. They are believed to be highly reliable. However, until extensive peer review is completed and the study is finally published, caution should be exercised in assessing these dramatic findings, and quoting them elsewhere for public consumption. They might be used out of context. As the Latin phrase advises: Caveat emptor.]****
*From the Wikipedia entry on Positron Emission Tomography (PET)
Positron emission tomography (PET) is a nuclear medicine, functional imaging technique that is used to observe metabolic processes in the body. The system detects pairs of gamma rays emitted indirectly by a positron-emitting radionuclide (tracer), which is introduced into the body on a biologically active molecule. Three-dimensional images of tracer concentration within the body are then constructed by computer analysis. In modern PET-CT scanners, three dimensional imaging is often accomplished with the aid of a CT X-ray scan performed on the patient during the same session, in the same machine.
**Gibberish and gobbledygook refer to speech or other use of language that is nonsense, or that appears to be nonsense. It may include speech sounds that are not actual words, or forms such as language games or highly specialized jargon that seems nonsensical to outsiders. Gibberish should not be confused with literary nonsense such as that used in the poem “Jabberwocky” by Lewis Carroll.
The word gibberish is more commonly applied to informal speech, while gobbledygook (sometimes gobbledegook, gobbledigook or gobbledegoo) is more often applied to writing. “Officialese”, “legalese”, or “bureaucratese” are forms of gobbledygook. The related word jibber-jabber refers to rapid talk that is difficult to understand.
***A syndrome is a set of medical signs and symptoms that are correlated with each other and, often, with a specific disease. The word derives from the Greek σύνδρομον, meaning “concurrence”.
****Caveat emptor is Latin for “Let the buyer beware” (from caveat, “may he beware”, a subjunctive form of cavere, “to beware” + emptor, “buyer”). Generally, caveat emptor is the contract law principle that controls the sale of real property after the date of closing, but may also apply to sales of other goods. The phrase caveat emptor arises from the fact that buyers typically have less information about the good or service they are purchasing, while the seller has more information. The quality of this situation is known as ‘information asymmetry’. Defects in the good or service may be hidden from the buyer, and only known to the seller.
A common way that information asymmetry between seller and buyer has been addressed is through a legally-binding warranty, such as a guarantee of satisfaction. But without such a safeguard in place the ancient rule applies, and the buyer should beware.
In this case, perhaps the most appropriate phrase would be Caveat lector which is Latin for “let the reader beware.” However, caveat emptor is the far more commonly used expression.