Once upon a time, in a land far away……..

There lived an aging Prince with beautiful blond locks carefully coiffed.

This Prince had succeeded in almost everything he had ever tried, and grew used to getting his way in all things financial, social, recreational, and status-wise. He had the best castles. He had so much gold, he couldn’t count it all. The peasants worked his lands, and his name was flown on banners and flags throughout the land. His personal carriage and horses were the biggest and fastest anywhere, actually better than that of the incompetent King who lived in a nearby shire.

One day the Prince decided that he should rightfully be King, because he was forthright, unafraid of demons, and spoke only the veritable truth to everyone.

Nearly at the end of his seventh decade of life, he was surrounded by his doting children, and his third wife who came after two others who fell short.

So, one day he consulted the sacred oracles, and examined the portents offered by flying temple birds about the history of becoming King of his multi-hued tribe. He searched the archives back over 200 years to find someone like him who had become King.

He considered his own storied background. He had gone to University, but never studied Kingliness or philosophy. He had never been an advisor to a King. He had never stood for office in the legislature, or won any election in a local, regional, or national race. He had never been an ambassador. He had never served his country at arms or in battle, but he trained in stout marching as a lad. His father had given him only a very few heavy chests of gold to start his career.

The closest analogue he could find was the story of a King from 50 years earlier, the beloved St. Ronald of Reagan. St. Ronnie had also been a stage actor with a hit play involving mules and the desert for 18 seasons, and a well regarded speaker of truths on a traveling circuit where he honed his rhetorical skills. Afterwards, he ran for the highest office in his Western region, comprising nearly 10% of all the people, land, and riches of the entire Kingdom, and won handily. He served two terms and perfected his speaking skills and political instincts. Then he offered himself as King for the whole country. Sadly, he lost on his first attempt, but won handily the second time out, and served two full terms, as an aging monarch, beloved by many.

Our Prince carefully considered this sterling example. He too had been a successful majordomo on stage though for only 15 seasons, and spoken widely in public about his ideas and desires. Furthermore, he also had the advantage of having written a wonderful book, though he had some help in composing it. His book was known to more than a million souls. And he had more gold than Croesus.

Although it was true the Prince had never held any office, he decided that his list of accomplishments on its own was more than good enough, and the country would be lucky to have him. He simply would not let his lack of experience, compared to St. Ronnie, stand in the way of his beautiful gift to the long-suffering people.

There were some who disagreed with him. He dazzled crowds with his golden words and expansive promises. He was so skilled at talking and convincing others, that they would either accept his positions, or he would banish them and make them pay for it. Enemies of his country would quake at the sight of his proud visage. He would unite all his countrymen, and make everyone else in the world fear and respect his power.

So, having judged the other contestants weak and inferior to his strengths, he decided to run for King with the Red Party, whose believers were concentrated in the South and West of his land. He expected to be greeted as a hero and truth teller by everyone.

And then his fellow countryman woke up from their dream (in a cold, cold sweat. Trust me)…………